Wednesday, January 28, 2004
I'm going through several different issues right now, people. Forgive the lack of posts and all that. Don't stop lovin' me baby. Yes, I'm talking to you. You sure know how to kill a moment, don't you? I've been eating a lot of avocados lately. They are delicious. Surprisingly, they seem to make some people nauseous. That's preposterous to me! How can something that taste like sex to me (it's a term I use... let's stay focused) make someone else vomit? Something is wrong here. Something's off. Someone is lying. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this because there is no good reason anyone could possibly have to tell lies about a fruit that taste like sex.
Have you ever told someone something and then a week or a month later they tell it back to you like they are the original source? Then when you say, "Negro I told your man tan azz that info ten days ago!", they have the audacity to argue you down. Or have you ever told someone a crazy bizarre story and like a month later this person tells it back to you (with some extra personal twists to make it more their own)like it happened to them and you look at them like they lost their cotton picking mind (that is such a derogatory term... might as well have just said "field negro" because I already exercised "man tan') ? Identities and subject matter have been withheld to protect this cat, but I might as well just tell you that I'm talking about my brother.
If you peek through my window at 9 pm tonight you might catch me in a duplicitous act of watching BET after I swore up and down that I would not be caught patronizing them ever never again until they raised their programming standards. I'm a liar. I'll be watching College Hill tonight *sambo smile*. I only continued watching BET for as long as I did to see videos. I discovered I had access to MTV 3 (JAMS) and VH1 3 (SOUL) 24\7. It was a wrizzap kids and I was getting over like a fat cat. My BET relaspe will occur tonight promptly at 9pm. Save the frowns and the scowls for the next homey because there is no better reality then black reality... and a HBCU at that... I'm hoping it makes for good\bad television.
A serious post will be coming soon. Black history month is around the corner and I have some things to say. I realized the niggardly behavior that I have when it comes to how much I tend to invest mentally, spiritually and financially within my community. Makes me want to hurl large chunks. On a lighter note... I'd like to say Happy Birthday to this pretty little lady,
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
After visiting Ms.Things's page, I was thinking about where certain sayings come from. Some of them just don't make a lick of sense and it's obvious that we're all just saying them out of habit and not really because it means anything to us. For example:
- Don't let the cat out of the bag!
Whot en dee hayle is that suppose to mean? It doesn't even make any damn sense. First and foremost, why is a cat in the bag? Secondly, if it's in the bag then it should be let out because cats wil tinkle just about every and any where and if you are familiar with the stench of cat piss, it's better that we let that rascal out sooner than later.
- I have this down to a T.
Can it get anymore random than that? I thought not.
I honestly didn't even think this post through... so I don't have anymore examples that I can think of. My bad. I'm sure you get my drift though. Guess who I saw yesterday? This is the second time I saw this lady. She is\was the stylist for Sex and the City. Not patricia Field, the other one. I saw her on 5th Avenue..and chile her get up was bad! She had on a midnight blue (yes, also known as navy) Shearling, Dark denim jeans with the cuffs flipped up and on the inside of the cuffs were orange stripes, a red Kangol, some dark Fendi shades, and ivory, navy and red coyboy boots. She also had a dog carrier that was navy with red and orange stripes. She has jet black hair cut short and she had on some red lipstick. The look was killer. She was killing 'em... well me. I don't know if anyone else was as interested as I.
And just like that I'm gone.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
I went to Illadelphia this weekend. In all actuality I only went for a night, but I still had a good time. Philly gets love from me. I adore that city. I also love D.C. and ATL (just thought I'd throw that out there). Back to my weekend.... I chilled with a former boyfriend. Most women I know keep in contact with at least one of their past shorties. I maintain communication with three of my four former menz. First and foremost, I just really like all them as individuals. They have upstanding characters and are decent human beings that I really care about. They make me laugh beyond measure. Plus I know they still think I'm cute and I think they're still cute too, so it's fun to get a guaranteed flirting session with no pretense. They have all come a long way for real. I guess a lot of it had to do with youth and growing pangs. I could have seen myself with each and every one of them if the timing had been better. I'm cool with it though. I work with the cards I'm dealt and that's that.
This particular old beau is by far the most attractive guy I've dated. The boy is so handsome. It's been a while since I've last seen him and he looks even better than he did before. He has deep chocolate skin...like the sun dipped in black, as Lauryn would say. It really looks like Hershey's chocolate and his skin tone is so even and beautiful. He has jet black soft hair (hair like a My Child...remember those?) and he grows it out a little on the top of his head so that thick soft curls form (I think he's half Dominican or something). He's about 6"2 and has such a sexy swagger and an innate fashion sense. It was really good to see him. I'm talking good. He's like the best eye candy. We had such a nice time together, but that's all it was...all it really can be. We'll get into why in a sec.
I'm not going to front. I liked having a play boyfriend for a day and a half. I liked being around someone that knows me. It was as if we were in the good stage of a relationship. You know, the stage where the two of you know each other well, but not so well that you're lazy and bored and unexcited to be around one another anymore. That's what turns me off about the whole "dating" thing. Learning someone all over again and opening yourself up. For a gal like me, it takes real effort. My personal life is closed tighter than the mouth of a snapping turtle...it's hard for me to open up period. Anyway, anyway, anyway, my whole thing is it was comforting for me to be around someone that is attracted to me, that knows me, and that appreciates me. Unfortunately, we're not going to be together like that. I'm not really a fan of backpedalling. I'm not a fan of long distance shorties. More than all that, I'm one of those "needs to be fawned over" type chicas...simply put, he's not all that good at that. I'm not afraid to admit that I need to be romanced and thangs periodically in order to keep my interest. I broke it off with him in college because I felt like he couldn't invest the amount of effort that I'm due. Listen ladies, we should not be afraid to say that we're worth something...worth the effort...worth winning over. Nothings wrong with that. From his language and how he was behaving this weekend , I think that he may think he's going to end up with me because that's what he wants. I'm more understanding and lenient about a lot of the things he does at this point because he's my "friend" not my "man". I think he misinterprets that as my new found tolerance and he probably thinks I'd transfer that attitude into a relationship with him. Little does he know as a "friend" I tolerate a whole lot of things, but if I was dealing with him like that, the game would change...straight up. My inner monster would resurface. It may not sound fair, but that's how things work. That's how I work. Keep in mind this is a very single woman who is typing all this...form your own conclusions people. Like I said before it was nice having a play boyfriend for the weekend.
We went to the Cheesecake Factory one day and he took me to Ishkabibblies to get a chicken cheesesteak the next day. We talked relationships, families, politics, friends, street life, careers, other little dumb things, and of course we got our flirt on heavy. I thought I was looking especially adorable when we met up. I had on some tight jeans (y'all know I got make it poke out a little), a tan zip up jacket with an exaggerated collar, a tan camisole underneath, some tan boxing style Converse sneakers with gold accent and a gold star on the side, a dirty metallic gold belt, and a fitted three quarter goose in green with a fur collar that had hints of brown, tan, and gold in the fur and a tan suede news boy hat with gold hooped earrings. He had on a black velour puma sweat suit, with some matching puma sneaks, and a black mink. Okay Negroes....I know Iknow we may have seemed a bit ostentatious, but we like to do it like we're doing it for t.v. Sue us. All day everyday. Alright, I know I'm feeling myself right now. Let me live, will ya?
Thursday, January 15, 2004
Could it be that ugly people are ugly because of their ugly heart? Was it like a cause and effect type of thing? I don't bother focusing on the physical flaws of extremely nice people. The niceness stays in the forefront of my mind and the unattractiveness vears towards the back. There are cases where people have serious physical defects that they are born with. Like dude in Mask, that's just completely beyond control. That kid was so nice too, man. I would have befriended and marrried him *crickets*. Back to what I was saying though, I'm taking about unsightliness within the scope of control. Like greasy necked chapped lipped ugliness and on top of that having a "suckballz" attitude. Not cool. These people must be humbled. Humbled through traducement, so they can see that they are totally out of line. It's enough to be rude and somewhat attractive, but being flat out ugly and having the nerve to be snide? It's a wrap.
If you are familiar with me then you know I must be building up to something. Indeed I am dear people. Indeed I am. Within the month of January I have been in several situations where mud ducks have tried to come at me in very inappropriate ways. Real rude and stuff. Can't have that. It happened three times this month so far. It's been real odd and random type of situations. It's happened here and there over the course of my entire earthly existance, but three times within a month... c'mon! Suddenly I thought, maybe it's some sort of calling. Maybe I've been called to set every mud duck straight. Intervention if you will.
My last encounter was earlier this week. I was standing on the very edge of the curb and saw a large group of toddlers. There was a group of 20 little 2 year old droolers being guided up the street by nusery school aides. Most of the kids were in those push carts that yu may see in malls. You know the push carts that are in the shape of animals and they hold about 6 or so litle people. Even though I am very allergic to children, I was suprisingly enraptured with the whole scene. All those little people, looking like midgets in the same colored coats, blabbering and babble talking. Begrudgingly, I must say it was...adorable. It was so sickeningly heart warming. I began to feel something funny inside my chest, almost like the Grinch. You know the scene when the Grinch's heart begins to grow and pump? I think something like that bagan to happen to me *confused look*. So, I still had my head turned looking in their direction and I may have even had a very faint smile on my face. I took one step down from the curb and suddenly an Asian delivery man speeds by on his two speed and splashes slush on my feet and pants. I then realized that he is the same grocer from a store that I stopped going to. My boycott was partially due to his continually nasty attitude and also the absurd prices. Filled with anger, I scream, "Watch where you're going you jerk off!". He turns his head around and says, " You too stupid! Get on the curb! You in the way, stupid!" Now I know what you all may be thinking. I started it by calling him a jerk off, but he could have avoided the slush and he could have apologized after he saw that he splashed me. Apparently he did it on purpose and I guess he felt I should have been on the curb to begin with (mind you, I had the right of way). I couldn't just let it end there... that just wouldn't be me. I quickly remembered one of his physical flaws and layed right in," That's why you have teeth like a hippopotamus you jerk off! Go to a dentist you stupid azz! There's a first time for everything!". He said nothing and continued pedaling up the street. I would have ripped him a new one if he stayed around long enough. I truly had enough of him. How are you going to have teeth that are still on the outside even when your mouth is closed and have the never to have madd attitude too? Him and his snaggle toothed azz.
I don't care if none of y'all agree with me, but I'm here to say that we do not have to put up with bullshit attiutudes from ugly people (which is pretty much all inclusive because I can find physical flaws in damn near anybody if they drive me to it). I know for a fact if I came out of pocket (when did I become fluent in pimp?) it wouldn't take long to tear me to shreads because let's face it, as much as you all would like to believe that I am perfect *giggling* I have more flaws than a $50 diamond ring. That's why I try to be on my best behavior when dealing with others. Why some of these people think they are the exception, I'll never know. Raise up against the uglies! *Bravehaert run*
Big love to Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on his born day. We had a birthday dinner for my Dear Ma who also had a birthday this week (big love to my G-ma too) and she told me that she heard Dr. King speak several times. She shook his hand and er'thing. That was real to me. My mother told me that my grandfather took all of them down to the March on Washington and heard him speak. She expressed how moving it was and the impression he left. She said what she what really stands out in her memory is how friendly everyone was. She said it didn't matter that they were among people of different colors, everyone was like family. She remembered sitting on the grass and eating a boxed lunch that they provided for all of those people. Even though she was a young girl at the time she realized how awsome and profound the event was. Too real. Dr.King helped push (Black) America through leaps and bounds. I am still apart of the movement and I am so thankful that I'm able to live his dream. Much love and respect to the movement and Dr.King.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Thursday, January 08, 2004
The only other thing I have to blog about is my growing distaste for the women on Sex and the City. Yes, I do watch this show that is located in a strange metropolitan that curiously has no black people...much like Friends. They should call it New White City. How weird is that? Let's not meander around my orginal point...these chicks are pruning up. They are looking a hot mess and it's just not sexy or cute anymore. They had no choice but to make this their last season. No one wants to watch a bunch of geriatric women hustle for wang. It's a wrap. When I saw the season premire, I thought I was watching a sequel to Shallow Hal or some ish. They were dressed all hip, but were looking a little bufugly and wrinkly. Wee wee? No no? Am I right or wrong? Am I left or right? Who's on first? Work with me people. They're washed up, for realz. In an effort to end on a positive note, I shall leave you with this... Blair Underwood's booty was looking tight. Go and be fruitful.
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Why do men always push a stroller with one hand? Does it give them the illusion of coolness? They push the stroller with one hand and walk along side it, as if they're walking a dog. *rolling eyes*
I'm glad I could waste your time like this.
Sunday, January 04, 2004
Top 5 Plans for '04:
5. To commit more volunteer time to one specific charity
4. To start washing and styling my own hair instead
of always going to a salon
3. To cultivate more friendships and invest more quality
time in the friendships I already have
2. Continue working towards getting this Master degree
on my wall
1. Travel a bit more and seal my independence
Top 5 Irritating Things About Myself:
5. I tease too much
4. I can be uncompromising...especially when I need to be
3. I, too frequently, wait for things to miraculously fall in my lap instead of being more of a go getter
2. I purposefully do the minimum out of laziness when I
know I'm capable of the maximum
1. I avoid wearing heels far too much
Top 5 compliments I've received:
5. "You're going to be dismissive of this statement, but I
really do liken all the women I date to you and that's
probably why I'm still single." - My best male friend
4. "Even though I'm still a teen, you are an inspiration to
me" - an email I received from lil' coco one of my
3. "From the moment I saw you I knew you were a good
person. You're so helpful and sweet. One day I came
home and told my son I work with an angel."
- co worker
2. "When I used to see you I thought you were so cocky.
It's like you just knew you were shit...and it was a
turn on, a challenge. I was attracted to your confidence
and poise. After I got to know you I saw that your
brashness was really just a product of a healthy self
assurance. Overtime I saw how thoughtful, good
natured, and loving you truly were." - an admirer
1. "You're a sensible, intelligent, virtuous woman, capable
of leadership. I'm proud of you." - mom
Top 10 sexist men:
10. Mos Def
9. Benjamin Bratt
8. Jude Law
5. Tyson Beckford
4. Vince Carter
3. Allen Iverson
2. Tracey McGrady
1. Aaron McGruder
These are just some guys that came to mind. All for different reasons. The list could be completely different an hour from now.
Top 5 tv shows:
5. Like It Is
4. What Not To Wear (BBC version)
3. Sex and the City
1. Curb Your Enthusiam
I really like the Dave Chappelle Show too.
Top 5 discoveries:
5. Orange peels are edible.
4. It's good to eat orange peels, they help fight colds.
3. Ambition exceeds talent.
2. If I take motrin before I start to cramp I won't cramp at
all for the duration of the red bull.
1. A moment only lasts a moment. There's nothing to fear,
but fear itself. That's real.
Top 5 Accomplishments:
5. Continuing to grow my hair out natural
4. Cutting back on all the meat
3. Not calling in sick for work once
2. Not calling him. 10 months clean now
1. Not settling
Top 5 songs I didn't get tired of listening to in '03:
5. D'Angelo - One Mo'gin
4. Stevie Wonder - All I Do
3. Raphael Saadiq - Be here
2. Donnie McClurkin - Stand
1. E. Badu - Green Eyes
Top 5 turn ons:
5. Being hugged while having my butt squeezed
4. Whispers in my ear
3. Eye contact in candle light...'cause you know, that I know, that you know exactly what's on my mind
2. Being supported and protected when someone tries to
violate me verbally, emotionally, physically, or otherwise.
1. A black man who has get up and go (ambition and
aspiration combined with initiative).
Saturday, January 03, 2004
Musiq, on the other hand, was money well spent at a whopping $12.99 (I never pay this much for music people). His album is flavaz. A complete antithesis to the bullshit Kelis provided. I really like his style too. I wonder who his stylist is...hmmm. I like Kelis' style too, but instead of being a singer she should be a consultant for Baby Phatt or something. Heaven knows Kimora needs all the help she can get. That line makes my stomach bubble. The most disconcerting thing about the Baby Phatt line is that Kimora Lee wouldn't be caught dead in any of those rags. The only things that really sells (from what I see all the young ladies wearing) are the shirts and jackets. That's about it. Why doesn't she just stop making all that other junk and just stick to shirts and jackets . Seems simple enough to me. *blank expression*
I bought more fabric crack which was really the only highlight of my week. I'll tell you what I got (not because you care, but because I like to have documented proof of the crap I blow my money on). I'll say, out of sheer defiance, that I only have a couple of more years to buy what I want when I want. I'll have to start thinking about people other than myself when it comes to my finances. Eventually I'll have a...what are those annoying burdenous things called again? Oh yes, husband and children. So I say, let me do this. I have very little debt and I don't charge any of the things I buy. In the name of the honorable Carrie Bradshaw...I like my money where I can see it, hanging in my closet. *fist raised to the sun*
This is what I bought within a 48 hour period:
a bronze clutch purse from BR
an orange suede belt from BR
a zip up cargo top in beige from Zara
a black military shirt from Club Monaco
two fitted military styled jackets from Saks Fifth Avenue by Marc jacobs one is green and the other is blue...on sale
kelis (piece of crap) CD
2 Musiq CDs one for my cousin
two barbie dolls for my cousin
Beyonce Cd for my other cousin
a grey hoody from Target for my other cousin
Ruben Studdard CD for my mom
Bible verse notebook for my mom from Target
a sports bra in fushia and teal with two matching boy shorts that say "BLING" on the butt from Target
That is all. It's not really that bad is it? I was buying for other people too. I'm beginning to frown again...I'm not in Philly. I know how to smile *doing Micahel Jackson spin*. Who doesn't smile after that?!