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Sunday, November 30, 2003

News Bulletin: Christmas gift giving is not for adults. Seriously. Unless you are trying to impress someone or get on their good side for something. There is no reason that an adult person should run around feeling stressed about giving an exorbitant amount of gifts to other adults. Christmas gift giving is for kids. KIDS. Kids who don't have jobs to pay for the things they want. At this point in my life, I haven't any room for people who are going to try to guilt trip me into giving. Talking about, "you're going to really like WHAT I BOUGHT YOU". You are not slick. I know you...you like to give just to receive and I'm not down with that. Eff that. I give great presents to people that would be just as happy with a hug. That's who I like to give to. That is my word, I'm about to let this person know. We are too old and should have too much respect for one another to be extorting presents. Grow up. Only a woman I tell ya. Men don't have time for this foolishness.

I went into the bank yesterday and saw this woman walking an elderly woman out of the door. I walked up to her and said, "Aren't you that woman from that show?" So articulate, am I not? She said, "Yes, my name is Harriet Cole, and you are?" She thinks she slick. She was trying to politely correct my rudeness...'cause I didn't know her name (Ms.Keys? I hear faint piano playing...). So I said, "Oh, my name is (my name here) and I just love your show (!...sike)." So she said, "Thank you (my name) it's very nice meeting you." Then I walked away and said, "Have a good night." forgetting to hold the door open for her and her elderly mother (grandmother?). Anyway, she is the woman from a show on ABC Family Channel. The show is called Perfect Match New York . It's a dating show and over the course of two weeks three people move into a person apartment and decide if they are indeed a perfect match *hurl*. She has this really wild hair style and sure enough she had her hair wild and crazy like that last night...and no, it had nothing to do with the wind. Although I will say that the style looked a little more controlled. It's one of those experimental styles that white hair dressers like to try on black women because they don't really know how to do black hair (I guess). I wish I had a pic to show you all. You'd be like "WHAT!!".

My Thanksgiving went well. Thank you everyone for the warm wishes as well as the emails I received from some of you...so sweet. We had the typical soul food this year...except My Dear Ma made a special request to have kale instead of collards. I don't know why. They taste pretty much the same, but collards have more of an irony flavor (which I like). We had rice and peas (no not peas and rice), mac & cheese, cranberry sauce (two kinds...I can't get with that whole cranberry one), stuffing with turkey sausage in it, corn, cheese brocolli, candied yams, warm rolls, more stuff which I can't remember because I did not partake, and la piece de la resistance (the thing that could not be resisted...I don't know if I spelled all of that right) THE TURKEY. That joint was tender and melted in my mouth like butter...ney new idea! Turkey butter! No? Oh. We had two homemade pies too. Sweet potato and pumkin. Oh jyeah. Oh by the way how does colards and yam in a can work? Uh, don't do our race to shame like that.

So, when I was trying to buy a five dollar watch yesterday (don't hate! Remember how much I like saying don't hate? Especially to people that hate hearing it? Don't hate!) the street vedors were trying to make conversation. Oh course they wanted to know if I was an activist. I had authentic retro black power buttons on my short black goose. One said Vote for Jesse with a picture of Mr.Jackson, another said Free Angela with a picture of Ms.Davis, the third said I *heart* being BLACK and the last one said I love Jesus. I had a leather duster and some big hoop earings on, as well as jeans and some white sneaks that have stripes (so they kind of looked like addidas). I had my headphones in my ears and my leather purse with a picture of a woman with a gigantic afro on it. So I guess I did look a little Run-D-MC\Black Panther-ish. Actually I was shocked when I walked into a dressing room and saw my reflection. I really looked dope. Yeah, I still say dope.

Anyway so the vendors were asking me if I am a part of the movement. I respond, "I am the movement...now can I get my 5 dollar watch please?". He said, "Oh YOU ARE THE MOVEMENT?!". I say, "Yes sir, WE ARE ALL THE MOVEMENT. Some purposefully and some by default, but we are all the movement none the less." It seemed to get too deep for him all of the sudden, so he let me ride. Then the next toothless vendor says, "Oh you going shopping today? Can I buy you something?" Me, "No thank you sir, but I'll take this $5 dollar watch right here with the black face." Him, "Why you don't want me to buy you nothing? What woman doesn't like to get gifts?" to which I respond, "Me. I can buy my own gifts." Why do I always entertain the small talk? Oh I remember...so I can post it here. He says, "Oh you're one of those strong black woman that buy your own gifts huh?" with a roll of the eye I say, "Sir, I am a woman, I am mentally fit, I am financially capable of paying for the things I need and most of the things I want. If these are the qualities that you use to describe a strong black woman, so be it. Limme get my watch." Snaggle toothed smile, "Oh okay sweety, you want me to put that in a bag?". He made me laugh and for that he will always have a special place in my heart. Yay! who's going to watch the Tracy Morgan show with me?! I looks like it's going to be great. I like that little kid, he's a winner.

Oh, by the way, I know I have a bunch of mispells and grammatical errors in my previous entry, but for some reason I cannot access that entry in my edit file. Yet another reason why we love Blogspot. Superb.

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

Here we go.... I have a whole lot to say since I've been MIA for acouple of days. As usual it's a whole lot about nothing, but that's what blogs are for. Right? I work in the Union Square 14th St. area and there's this market fair going on until Christmas. I've been pretty curious to see what the vendors are selling. I took a run of the place the other day and it mostly looks like a bunch of typical junk. The usual candles, scarves, toys, ornaments, shirts, jewlery and the like. The shocking thing is, these people have the nerve to sell this crap for far too much. I am not buying a candle off of the street for $45, neither will I buy a necklace for $195 out of some lame azz booth. They must be mad (as in crazed). When I am spending loot like that I need a receipt and a return policy from... like Bloomingdales, Nordstroms or Saks, shiiiii even Target will do. Kay? These people are no fancier than the regular street vendors that chill on 125th or Jamaica Ave. If they are going to sell merchandise with priced tags like that they need to have their junk in a secured store, don't you think? Yah. The most enjoyable part of looking in the different booths filled with junk was when this smoked out homeless dude started screaming, "Ho fucking ho! Merry mutherfuckin' holidays!". Oh joy. I love New York and I don't need no shirt to express that (double negatives rock!). It can be a bit much for those that aren't used to the...er behavior. For example a drunkard can be spread out in the middle of the side walk faced down and people will just step over and around them. Not to be mean are indifferent, but we are just desensitized in many ways. Hopefully a cop will eventually pass by and get them up or maybe someone will drop some piping hot Starbucks by their side. Or maybe even someone will drop a dollar and it will motivate them enough to buy two cigarettes...uh yes folks cigarettes, batteries, and anything else that's usually sold in packs can be bought dolo in NYC.

I went into Armani Exchange on West Broadway and there were some buffolous looking men up in there. Most of them worked there. I wasn't the only one noticing the eye candy because I heard this chick say to her friend that they all look good, but they're all gay...and then she went on to talking about how all the good looking men are gay. I thought about that for a minute and you know what? All the good looking men are not gay. Here's the thing...gay men (generally) have a higher standard of physical apearance and up keep. They actually take great pride in there presentation and that is and will always attract a woman. We are attracted to men that are well groomed, smell good, iron their clothes, and have a sense of style. In New York it is a bit more dificult to differentiate because so many people are fashion conscious, but bump that gay men are always generally more pulled together than the typical dusty straight man. I'm not just saying it either...I speaks the truth. Yes, you read right, I said speakssssss. Oh by the way Armani Exchange clothes are built well and the material is great, but there is something about it that I can't get with. I think it looks a little too generic for my own personal taste. They have a couple of pieces, but I'm good. I just skipped over to Flying A...if you know what I'm talkin' about then gimme some dap.

I went over my Dear Ma's house and we were watching the Victoria Secrets fashion show and my Dear Ma had excessive commentary...too much to review here, but one thing she said really made sense. We were wathcing Mary J. and Sting make a mess of themselves...call it a duet if you want, but I surely won't. Anyway, they were making a mockery of themselves and my grandmother said, "Why is it that you always see a woman with her butt hanging out and half her clothes on trying so hard to be sexy and meanwhile the man she stands next to always has ALL his clothes on? Don't women notice that men never get naked for us? They hardly show any skin, but we always feel the need show every inch without a second thought." My Dear Ma speaketh the truth. I never really really looked at it like that. The objectification is ridicuous. I know I look sexy with all my clothes on...so I'm never scared. I just think women that show it all may think they won't get noticed if they don't. It's like they need to get more naked than the next chick to get some play. I'm good on all that. I don't want a dude that won't notice me with my clothes on. Can I get an AMEN! Can I get a HALLELUJAH! Can I get ten dollars...I'm broke.

Here are a couple of nice black restaurants in NYC that you guys simply must try if you can:

Mecca
Jezzabelle's
Shark Bar
Negril
Lola
B.Smith's
Jimmy's Cafe (Harlem location)

I've been to all of them and they are all cool. Some are better than other's, but they are all decent. None of them are 'hole in the wall' type of places. They all have a level of class. By far Jazzabelle and B.Smith's are the best as far as food and atmosphere, but this is just my opinion because as I said, they all are cool and I would return to each one again (especially Negril and Mecca). I've frequented Shark Bar the most out of all of them. The places that I still want to get to are:

Bayou
Soul Cafe
Mobay's
Cafe Lafayette
Moomba
Akwabba Cafe

My spelling may be off, but I'm not the owner. Moving on... As I was walking down Prince St. I saw a lot of little intimate cafes with couples eating by candle light. Was that suppose to be one word? Oh. I thought that was really romantic. I than began to smile and think of all the things I want to do with my imaginary boyfriend. Oh, I never told you about him? It's not as bad or desperate as you may think. Actually...it just may be so, I take that back. Nah for real, I sometimes day dream about hanging out with some faceless nameless honey...what's the harm in that? A great date with him would be:

Meeting me for breakfast at this place called Breakfast Good Enough to Eat or Chat 'N Chew and greeting me with a copy of "There Eyes Were Watching God" by my girl Zora Neale Hurston or I can settle for a copy of Honey. What am I bringing him you ask? Don't worry, this is MY great date let him imagine what he wants. Then we split up and do our own thing and get back together early evening for dinner at Isla Cuban Restaraunt or I'll even settle for Blue Smoke BBQ. After that we can catch the play All Men Aren't Dogs...errr...let's just change that to Ma Rainey's Black Bottom. Or if he doesn't want to do the play thing we can always go to the Comedy Cafe' at Jackrose. Then after (because the night is still young we can go Latin dancing at Clemente's! If he refuses to dance we can hang out at the Bowery Bar and Grill. Then we can go home (doesn't matter who's home does it?) and snuggle up to Y tu Mama Tambien or Boomerang or something. Welcome to my imaginary world...

I actually used to have dates like that. Well, truthfully not all in one night. There were never two back to back activities that didn't include eating. It was a play then home or dancing then home or a museum then home home home. Ya know, I don't know if I would be able to hang through all of that anyway, it all sounds good, but I get tired semi quick. I need to get my nails done. I don't get tips or a wrap or anything else that involves glue and a face mask. When I say "get my nails done" I'm actually talking about the calcium that grows out of my own fingers getting filed and painted. Yah. What do you all prefer rounded or squared? I like sqaured personally.

Friday, November 21, 2003

Well, thanks a lot people...because of you I have done some research. You all always try to set me up for foolery. If I said I wanted to jump off a bridge just so I know what it feels like to fly, you all would be cheering me on wouldn't you? I don't know why I let you guys hype me up. This reminds me of a time in college when a bunch of people dared me to get into a dryer and take a spin. I did it like a jackass and nearly broke my neck and punctured my spleen (is that possible?). If any of you have done that to a cat or any type of small animal, you should be ashamed of yourself. I mean I've done it to a cat named Black Jack, but that's besides the point. He was evil and deserved it. Eff that cat, if I see him in the street he better run. Yes, I do carry vendettas against humans as well as animals...I don't descriminate. Sometimes animals try to get personal with you and do things out of spite, for example monkeys. When monkeys slap you in the face... they are really trying to smack the ish out of you. They even laugh and point. Not that 'I've ever been smacked by a monkey, but you know what I mean. Or birds...they are aiming to crap on your head...if you think it is just a coincidence then you're a fool. They do it to get their laugh on. Animals are wicked. So if you ever see me in the street wrestling with a monkey or bird then you'll know it is because they have offened me in some way. Where was I? Oh yes...the dryer incident. The dryer I went into was a jumbo dryer and it spun me around a good time and a half until I jumped out...yikes. People were laughing and hollering, but I was the one left with the feeling of pain and shame. I'm still not totally healed (emotionally that is). Bastards.

Anyway the whole point of all this is to say that when people hype me up enough, I'm likely to do anything (yes, I have danced naked with a homeless man before all because of a dare...where's your sense of humor?). I actually LET my comment box dictate my actions. You all made me curious. Dag. I TOLD you all he was perfect just as he was. Perfect. All that sparkley lovey dovey moist stuff you all said about crushes got me thirsty. I have discovered that he not only has a girlfriend, but he smokes (I think he smokes..could be wrong about that...but y'all know I'm never wrong). Ugh. Do you know how much of a turn off that is?! He was perfect and poof just like that...it's gone. I can deal with the girlfriend part because those come and go, but smoking...nah man. Can't get with that. Funny thing is he has a really beautiful smile. Who am I kidding, I can't get with the girlfriend part either. When I find out someone is attached it's...well...not good (for me). I don't like competing for men...not my style. Welp. Thank you for ruining my fantasy. This will be the last time I let you all hype me up. *giggling* You guys just want entertainment. Do I amuse you? You laughin' at me? I'm just your personally little clown right?


Thursday, November 20, 2003

I want somebody to walk up behind me
and kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck
been such a long time...I forgot that I was fine
just kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck


So I started a brand new J-O-B. No explanation point necessary. I'm paid more and my responsibilities have increased, but ...eh. It's not like I'm enjoying myself. Anyway moving on to the more important part of the job...with this new job I have a new crush. Oh yay! Be still my chambered muscular organ that pumps blood received from the veins into the arteries (heart). I'm too many things, aren't I? After the (online) spectacle I made regarding my admirer, it would only be fitting that I instantly get a crush of my own. I'm so sickening *finger down throat*. How can you all stand me. It wasn't really a question that's why I just put the period. Can we say pharisee people?!

I think part of my crush can be attributed to the fact that I am...err...romantically lonely. I need to fill my self afflicted void with fantasy. He is my answer. I can not say who it is because of my paranoia. I think people at my old job, new job, future job(s), and friends and family all read my blog. I've NEVER given anyone the address..thus the paranoia. I don't want to hang myself by giving these people (make believe or not) the information which (I imagine) they are reading day after (imaginary) day. Yeah, welcome to my world people. I can tell you all another reason why I don't want to get too specific, but then I would be giving too much away if he ever reads this (if it's up to me he will never know how hard I'm crushing). Besides, I've made the mistake of going to my site at my job and if any computer genius decides to track back and be nosey then they might come across this. Okay I know I'm digging, but let me live. Back to the crush....

The best part of having a crush is knowing that the other person has NO IDEA. It is deliciously delightful to have a secret crush and walk by them and not even look their way. Then just smile to yourself inside. Wow. The only thing that makes me frown is knowing he's not paying any attention to me...he doesn't even know my name (thank you Alecia Keys) he doesn't even care to know my name. Well we've talked and exchanged names, but that usually happens when you are new on a job. I mean he hasn't really extended himself anymore and people usually extend themselves when you have tweeked their interest. Right? This is why I frown. I haven't tweeked him. I'm good at seducing...should I seduce and just trick him into liking me? Nah. The fun would be lost. He is perfect to me right now. Do you all realize that before you really get to know a person they are perfect (perfect as in- the possibilities of who and what you may imagine them to be is endless because you don't know the truth yet)? I want to keep him perfect. He has the sex appeal and I AM NOT imagining that part. His voice is like a cool breeze. He appears very intelligent. Be still my blood pumping organ. Elkkk! I'm being madd corny right now. I'm hating myself for this. Get a life Boog! Man Up! I'm getting moist.

Who cares...he's beautiful.

Friday, November 14, 2003

Sooo. I have been so tired when I get home lately that I haven't really been physically able to write new posts. I would do it at work, but there are too many bugaboos for me to even bother. Bugaboos reminds me of the word jiggaboo, which reminds me of one of my favorite movies...

Oh you're just a jigaboo...tryna find somethin to do!
Oh you're just a wannabe...wanna be better than me!


If you don't know what movie that's from then you should crawl back under your rock for another hundred years. I love that whole scene and I love the step show scene too. N-E-Way. My friend and I have such a corny sense of humor. We were talking about the Bible and God and somehow he started telling me how God calls us sheep because we have no guidance. I asked him what he meant by that and he told me that sheep are one of the DUMBEST animals on earth and he said that they follow anyone or anything because they simply don't have a mind of their own. I found this so funny. I started to think about it (I'm always seeking out a new term to mock someone with...ding ding ding!). I said to him well if sheep are stupid I'm going to start to call people sheep when they piss me off. I told him that it was a perfect word because it sounds so endearing, but it's really a huge insult...and if the people are as dumb as I think they are - then they won't even know what I'm talking about. They won't even know I'm insulting them. I'll just be like, "You're such a sheep!" ROTFLMBO!! We were thinking up little scenarios together and ending them with you're such a sheep. Just another way to get through the day. I need help...I know.

I was going to write about this already, but you and you beat me too it. It's okay though. Mos Def has real sex appeal, man. There is something about him. It's not really his physical appearance because he has ordinary features. It's not his style of dress because I like most, but not really everything that he wears. It definitely has a great deal to do with his intellect and the way that he conducts himself. Makes me say HOTT DAMN. Add the licking of the bottom lip and he's got me mesmerized...did I get too deep? Excuse me if I get too deep.

I was reading an online article that referenced to what makes someone beautiful. From what the article said it is just an average...I guess a bit of a curve. The article said that from our childhood we have averaged all the physical images of people that we see and the combination of them has left an imprint in our brains. When we look at people we instantly compare them to our average imprint and this is how we determine their level of attractiveness. This is some sick twisted stuff. It's true. Another thing that the article referenced to and we all know this I hope (this is an intellectual blog so I have concluded that mostly intellectuals read this...yeah *holding in laughter*) is the fact that men are more visual than women. Men are mostly looking at physical features and women are including physical, intellect, behavior and other details that men just normally and generally don't (and it's true so don't start leaving any bull shi!t comments). This is why when men are like, "Oh yeah...that's me" we're like, "Ewwe...her?!". So yeah...just thought I'd share that.
Moving on....

Let me say this... I really like the whole idea of having a group of girlfriends to hang out with and talk to. I really wish I had a group of friends like...well...the show Girlfriend or Sex and the City I'll even take a similar group from the bootleg movie Two Can Play That Game. I like having female friends, but they are hard to come by. I have begun to believe that I'm getting too old to make those kinds of friends at this point in my life. I hope I'm wrong. It's kind of late in life to go friend shopping right? Grown women are more resistant to befriend people. I find that a lot of women don't want to be bothered with being friendly. I'm totally not all that great at extending myself to people. Why don't I have a group of friends like that already you say? I must be one of those hard to get along with girls, you think? Nah...not at all. I have two friends that I have known and been tight like peanut butta and jelly since Jr. High. They don't enjoy one another's company so I can't build from that. I also had a solid four from college, but...eh. Grew apart kind of...I guess. Shut up. Then I have friends that I have had that aren't tight tight, but I will reach out and touch them every so often. There is nothing like having sistergirlfriends. I am not one of those women that say, "Rah rah rah...I don't get along with women- I prefer my male friends. Women are too shady." I really don't feel that way. I guess the whole point of my bibble babble is to say that I really need to check myself and extend myself a bit more instead of easily disposing of my friendships and I should extend myself more too. I need to do a better job at keeping in contact with people that I truly do enjoy the company of. Maybe I had more of a point then that, but I shall stop here.

Monday, November 10, 2003

Here's just a quick update on the guy from my job that wrote me the note. First let me say that I am not good at updating. I talk about so many different things that have a "to be continued" type nature, but I never follow up. For once let me follow up. I didn't pay attention to the majority of the suggestions...'cause I'm a rebel baby. I never mentioned the note, never alluded to my feelings either way, never said a word or gave a gesture (as in thumbs down sign while blowing rasberries in his face), I didn't give him a "hellz no" note back...nothing. Check this out though. There were several opportunites for him to say SOMETHING...ANYTHING, but he never said a word. We were even in a car alone together (he gave me a lift to the train) and he never even said anything! We were sitting in the conference room alone waiting for a meeting to start...nothing. We talk about everything BUT the note. He's come into my office to ask me things...I've also been in his. Those would have been perfect opportunities to say something. To me that's just so insane. Anyway, we had this team meeting and in the middle of the meeting several days after he gave me the note and several times after private opportunities have passed...he scribbles another note. Another note you say?! Yes, I say! This is toooo stupid to make up...you know that. It said, "Did you get the note?". I just screwed my face up in a clueless look- you know, the kind of look people give when they can't understand what you're saying. Silence! I know what your thinking...why didn't I just say "yes". The answer to that would be: because I didn't want to.

Stupid is as stupid does. If he's going to act so "blah" then I'm going to act "blah". I mirror...that's what I do. He wants me to be the pursuant and it's not happening. He's trying to manipulate me to make some sort of move or effort. It's almost as if he's behaving like I wrote the note. This is some real twilight zone ish. Do y'all think this is some kind of set up? Could he have gotten some kind of fake note with my name signed? I can't make any sense of this- at all. I'm through. I'm spent. I can't be bothered. Later for all this.

Oh oh oh...I forgot to mention that after he scribbled that second little note he never mentioned anything about it again. What a tard. I didn't mean that, but I did. Ciao ciao-

Saturday, November 08, 2003

Ya mon! Nuff respect. I'm just being silly because I know I'm about to eat. I just put a mini veggie pizza in the oven. I'm one of those annoying people that suddenly gets joyful and the inner light in me begins to glow when I know I'm about to eat. I could be the meanest person in the world, but when I know I'm about to eat I become a shiny happy person. I even begin to sway and do sporadic little dances of joy. How sickening you say? Dear sir or miss, don't hate. That's my new thing this week - don't hate! I enjoy my mockery of overused terms...don't hate.

I've been hearing too much chit chat about Camel Head (a.k.a Jay-Z). Why do people even care so much? How many times can two of the same people have the same conversation about Jay-Z's retirement? Have that convo once and be done. If you don't work for The (pseudo) Source or Vibe or something why should you even care so much to be talking about it on a daily basis? Daily? C'mon mon. What he eats doesn't fill your belly (we all know the real saying, but let's keep things clean for the kids). As a matter of fact why am I talking about Camel Head? The pot and the kettle, the pot and the kettle.

Hey, I've found the source for the shawl that Jessica Simpson always wears on her show! K, why aren't you smiling too? Anyway, I've become privy to the source and I will be copping. Don't hate. I don't want the same color that she had though. I've been eating Kit kats as of late. Just thought I'd share that. Yup.

The African Heritage Network has started casting for a new black reality series. This should be goood. When I typed goood I really meant laugh jolting. There will also be more age variation in the casting. It's in the beginning stages so I don't know all the details. I can bet they'll have more interesting "characters" than lame Coral, with her cigarette holding, continually popping ish, crocodile tears faking self. Don't even get me started on Adam, with his no rap skills having, gettin' mushed in the face, sonned and herbed on national television, chaplin hat wearin', forever chasing after women that only want camera time self. That chick from Starting Over Can. Not. Be. Serious. If none of you have had the pleasure of catching this show then you must have had something better to do like work or sleep or school or clipping your toenails, but that's beside the point. Nzanga...is that her name? Well, whatever her name may be she is a trip and if she lived among her peers she would have been cut smooth long ago. Her ish stinks and that's all there is too it. The way she's going she may never graduate from that house. None of you know what I'm talking about any more, but it doesn't matter because I just needed to get that off of my chest.

On a final note...you know what I can't stand? Being laughed at or teased by kids, as an adult. It is the most humiliating\infuriating thing in the world. You can only say and do so much because...well you know...we're suppose to be the adult in the situation. But bump that. If no other adult is around, the kid will be verbally abused by me (I'm kind of joking, but not really...I won't curse at them or name call, but my goal will be to make them weep). This little kid tried to play one of my co-workers. He was making light conversation with them the way adults sometimes do. Anyway, the guy was laughing and joking with the kid and then the kid felt comfortable enough to test him and tried to play him talking about, "Your hands are ashy. Ewe, they crusty. Don't you believe in lotion?" then his chubby azz starts to giggle. Then his brothers and sister start laughing, pointing and being very extra. The guy was laughing it off or whatever, but I do not play that. So I heard what the kid said and I walk over and say, "Excuse you, you are speaking to an adult, he is not one of your little friends from the street. Do you want me to tell your mother what you said so she can smack you again like she did when you all first came in...and make you cry a second time for the day? You need to apologize to him for talking too much. If you weren't so fresh you would know that you still have sleep in your eye." Then I look at his brothers and sister and say, "You should not be laughing with him. It's not so funny anymore is it?". I know what I said may have been a bit much, but this isn't my first run in with that kid. You all just don't know. When you talk to him you have to let him have it so he understands. Besides, everything I said was true, his mom did pop him in the mouth when he first came in because of his behavior. The kid is rude and needs to be put in his place and I'm always ready for the challenge. Here I am to save the day or embarrass someone, which ever comes first (sometimes it's one in the same isn't it?). I really am a pleasant person as long as I'm not hungry, you don't bring animals or rude children around, your breath isn't tart, and you don't talk about Camel Head retiring.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

I don't have anything interesting to say...not even remotely. Did I spell remotely right? Eh....

Why do people let their dogs walk without a leash? This guy had a big dog, the kind that looks like a horse, and the dog was an entire block behind him. They were basically both doing their own thing. I am scared to pass unleashed dogs. I never know when they're going to go wild. I just don't want to take the chance. The thing that disturbed me the most was the guy talking on his cell phone for four blocks straight and NEVER turning around to make sure the dog was there. Having four feet gets you wherever you need to go two times faster. I wish I could have jumped on that dogs back and rode him the rest of the way to work because I was late.

I have an unkind mean streak that I need to break myself from. I need help. I am becoming mean. If I'm holding the door for someone and they don't say thank you by the time their first foot get's through I let it go on them or I slide my foot out and trip them, then I'm like, "my bad" knowing full well I meant to do it. Or if someone bumps me from behind on the train and doesn't say excuse me I kick the back of there foot and look away. What is WRONG with me? Is that some childsih stuff or what! When people look at me for longer than a glance (which equals 3-4 seconds tops) I roll my eyes. This includes little children. I am getting to old to act like that. Shame on me. Am I the only one that says "thank you" to bus drivers before I get off? I was raised to say please and thank you. I've noticed no one says thank you to public bus drivers. I'm like Jeckle and Hyde.

Here is my winter shopping list:
*Cinnamon brown pair of UGGS
*Some kind of Goose coat don't know what yet (any suggestions?)
*New jeans
*Dress coat
*Some work slacks that actually fit
*Some real nice sunglasses...because sunglasses look even cooler in the winter
*Canon digital camera (I'm not trying to spend more than 3 bones...should I look at a different brand or is Canon okay?)

I'm not big on the exploitive Christmas gift giving thing, but I like to give to people I just don't like to be guilted into it. We celebrate Kwanzaa in my family, but we celebrate Christmas too. I think celebrating Christmas defeats the purpose of Kwanzaa, but eh...this is how we do it. Christmas is not a heavy gift thing though. My whole point in mentioning any of this is to say I do not like being pressured to give. LOL. I just don't. I think it's a grimy thing to do. I'm about to hang the whole gift giving part of Christmas up because it's far too draining. Especially for all the broke moms and dads out there. Children have been told by the media that they are suppose to get gifts on this day. It's really just a lot of pressure. I don't even like to get gifts because 1) I'm hard to please and 2) I can buy my own gifts which is extra benificial because I know exactly what I want. Christmas is not in the spirit of giving it's in the spirit of receiving and just because you put a star at the top of a tree and sing 'Hark the Harold Angels Sing' doesn't mean it's about Christ. *crickets chirping* Now let me hop back on my broom and head back west. I'm glad I could kill everyone's holiday cheer a good 2 months in advance! Whoopee!

Monday, November 03, 2003

I called my Dear Ma (grandmother) this morning and she was so happy to hear from me...that really made me smile. I need to do a better job of calling her on a weekly basis. I'm going to have to take my lunch to work for three days this week (which I should be doing anyway). I like to take my lunch to work because I want to, but this week I have to simply because my money is funny and my change is strange. Today this man got me so upset I started talking with my pinky finger. When I start waving my pinky finger around and gritting my face this would be a clear sign that I'm heated. I'm not even going to mention what it was over because I need to let it go. Gone.

I read a post that briefly mentioned CB people (C*ck Blockers for you sensitive readers). I must say that CB people really annoy me. There are several different kinds, shall we quickly review? Mkay. There are the Party Pooping CB that ruin YOUR good time because THEY aren't having a good time. There are the attention hungry CB that can not stand to see you giving attention to anyone other than them so they all of the sudden need your attention for every living thing they're doing. There is the unintentional CB who isn't even aware that they have CBed until you bring it to their attention by giving them shade for several hours after they've committed their crime. The worst kind of CB (the party pooper gives them a run for their money) has to be the "It makes me feel better about myself to step on your toes and put you in your place" CB. I take this kind of CB real personal. I've had a history with these kind of chicks through high school and a tad bit through college. At this point in my life it only happens occassionally because frankly I really haven't been in too many positions for woman to pull that type of business with me. When it's tried I get into my "DO NOT MESS WITH ME...YOU WILL NOT WIN THIS." mode. Yes, ladies and gentleman it does get just that serious. I still have one friend that is a bit of a party pooper\I need your attention CB, but I give her looks that let her know "you're doin' too much right now...fall back honey". Truthfully that is one of the reasons I don't like hagning out with her too tough. What a stressful bunch you CBs are. If you...yes, I'm talking to you...may be suffering from this sick disease- seek help. It's not a very attractive characteristic. If you have an associate that may be suffering needlessly from this illness lose them quick. Most of them don't change. Or do they? I try not to stick around long enough to find out.

The song Not Today by Mary J.Blige featuring Eve has a real nod your head beat. Me likey.

Saturday, November 01, 2003

I went to an engagement party. It was romantic only because I sensed no pretense in their love for one another. They kissed several times throughout the night. This is something that I've never been totally comfortable doing. Frenching someone when I know people are watching! Yikes. I've often thought about what I'll do on my wedding day when the officiant says, "You may now kiss the bride." I'll probably pull out a newspaper to block everyone's view. Yes, I'm just that shy. Well not really, but really. I don't like ostentatious affection, but I think I can manage a five second kiss in a crowded room. Maybe a pat on the butt. Handholding isn't a staple for me, but I don't frown upon it. The truth is, I am my own walking contradiction. I love affection, but I get all "get away" when too much of it is happening in public. Or maybe I haven't been swept off my feet enough to even want to be tongued down for 7 minutes straight on the A train.

One thing that really sparked my interest was the couple slow dancing together. I was suddenly filled with longing. I've never slow danced in public with a guy. Well there was this one time when a guy gave me a pity slow dance at my surprise party, but it was more of an obligatory slow dance so it doesn't count. I would love to slow dance with someone that I loved in public. Now THAT I can do in public. If they ask you why we did it.... HEY we did it for love! *sigh* *dreamy eyes*. Who farted? Y'all sure know how to kill a mood.

Are there places to go slow dancing with someone? They don't even play slow jams in clubs. They never played slow jams at school parties. So where do all the hard up people like me go to slow dance? Livingrooms don't count. If I have to wait until my (non-existent) wedding day to slow dance with a man then that will be one sad realization. I need a slow dance like right now... c'mon I've waited a whole 26 years. Someone take me out of my self afflicted agony!

I was chatting with a girl at the place and she told me she went to Howard. So I said, "Oh okay... that's a wonderful school." Here she go, " Yeah it's the black Havard." *roll of eyes*. So I say, " Oh is that what they say?" with my eyebrows raised. What's up with the white comparison bull ish? Why is it that we compare a lot of what we have to it's white counterpart in order for it to be good? Good hair, pretty eyes, light skin, good neighborhood, corporate America, go 'head with all that. Who said Havard is the standard anyway? It was never the standard for me and I resent implications that it should be. Why does anyone have to call Howard the black Havard like that is suppose to mean something. Howard is Howard and it is an excellent school in it's own right. It does not have to be compared to anything else in order for it to be a school of excellence. Maybe I'm just too conscious for some, but statements like that really bug me out. Oh you have good hair girl! Why because you're comparing it to a white person's hair texture? Oh your eyes are pretty! Oh because they're hazel or grey which is a commonality usually found in persons with low melanin counts? Oh you live in a great neighborhood! No you just live next to white people and white does not a great neighborhood make. Enough of the dumbness. Schools are schools, people are people, hair is hair. We should recognize people and things in their own right.

The party was in a private room of a restaurant, so there was no open bar. A lot of people wanted something to drink, but they really didn't want to pay. I'm glad I'm not a lush because drinks cost too much. Anyway I saw a lot of people buying one drink. What is the point of this? If you're so pressed that you need a drink instead of the juice and stuff that's offered what will one drink do for you? What is the point of one drink? Unless it is something strong or you're taking something straight what would be the point of doing this..... other than wasting money? I thought the whole point of drinking was to get wet...tossed...nice....tipsy...whatever you want to call it. Can someone explain the science of buying only one drink? I always ask stilted questions...I need to stop that. How long do you think it will take the government to implement National P.Diddy Day?

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