Saturday, February 14, 2004

Gosh. I'm sick of this joint. Aren't ya'll? Ugh. It's sickening over here. I've got to raise up. I've had a bunch of projects going on and I've still been stopping by all of your sites. I'm so wishy washy, I think just because I don't have comments that means I don't have to leave comments either. Shaking my head at me. In my own defense I must say that I have tried several times to leave a message at my homegirl Lisa's house , but my computer has been acting a plum fool, so therefore it always freezes up when I hit post. Fooey. All I really wanted to say was that you're dope, you know that anyway so no point in giving you any additional gas. Hee hee. All of you are dope for real. You all bring something to the table that makes me snort and giggle and get thoughtful and reflect and suck my teeth ( nOva ) when I read you. I just love y'all.

Since I haven't been posting regularly I have more recaps and updates to give. Not like you care, but humor me.

- I've been buying some banging azz chicken and rice from the Spanish restaraunt by my job. Yummmm.

- I watched a man fiddle with his genitalia during rush hour on the E train. He was standing behind this white girl who was talking with her friend about going to some open grill Chinese spot that has great food. She said their noodles were "really thick and delicious". I think her dialogue was contributing to dude's hard on. Anyway, I watched him in disgust then finally blurted out that "A PERVERT IS STANDING BEHIND YOU. YOU NEED TO WATCH THE PEOPLE THAT ARE IN YOUR PERSONAL SPACE! HONEY TURN AROUND!". She looked at me in mass confusion, but I couldn't explain anymore because my stop had come and I had ish to do. I don't even use the word "honey" when speaking with people, but she looked so pitiful and confused... the words just came out.

- I bought a $600 bag.

- I bought some Paul Robeson stamps.

- I've continued my race to beat the clock for application deadlines. I'm a real mess.

- I've continued to watch Top Model ( I gave up on College Hill long ago). What is going on with Camille's eyebrows. They look like two acute triangles on her head. What the deal is?

- I typed a quick memo after this wench from work hung the phone up on me. I turned it into my surpervisor because I document all bullshit events that go down. Two days later she did the same thing to my supervisor. *check gesture*Two memos and a pink slip in her file now. Documentation people, documenttion. It gets people fired quicker.

- I reread Racism 101

- I took the path train for the first time since it's been rebuilt. That ish is ill. It goes right through the World Trade Tomb. Unreal. I need to take pictures before the rebuilding begins.

- I got asked out on a date through email. I'll post it later. It deserves a post of it's own. Hold your horses. If you know my M.O. it would only take you a millisecond to guess I'm not interested in the cat.

This is all I can remember for now. I'm going to have to say good day to you all. I may come back here every once and a while. Actually that's a lie, there will be absolutely no reason for me to bring my man tan azz back over to this piece. If you want to check for me I'll be here . It's a brand new day baby! Welcome to the revelution:


Monday, February 09, 2004

When the sea is calm, the sky begins to rumble. Don't kill my attempt to be deep. That was some freestyle ish right there. It meant absolutely nothing and has zero relevence, but who are you to judge me? I know I've been gone longer than Carl Thomas (look below for Carl Thomas reference), but I'm about to make a come back in the best way. For the one person that still reads this, I'm glad that you're still interested because, even if you don't believe me, I'm making this change just for you. Did we just have a moment right there? Yes, we did damn it. You missed the part where you're supposed to be all touched and your face and neck get hot and one lonely tear drop slowly slides down your cherry cheek. I know none of this is making sense right now, but it'll come together at a completely unexpected time. Like when you are sitting in your weekly staff meeting trying to figure out how you're going to get that wedgy out of your azz all incognito like... you'll just think of me, 'cause I speak about things like that. Remember i'm doing this or you. Or when you are walking in the park with your lover and some jogger walks past and sneezes just as the wind blows south in your direction. You'll hold your breath and please remember why... it'll be because of me... I started that trend, remember munch nutt? I'm doing this for you. Without going through like a gazillion other scenarios, let's just cut to the chase. The point is I'm doing this for you.. the lone reader. You. Anyway just to recap, I'll quickly go over what's happened since January 28, 2004:

(I don't hold dates.... everything is such a blurry haze in retrospect. Mondays, Wednesdays and Sundays merge and mingle, and I can never tell the diffference... )

- I saw stank azz Betsy Johnson in Union Square and I said, "Hi Betsy" and she acted like she was trying to remember me even though she didn't know me and then she just gave up and said, "Hey!".

- I played Carl Thomas' Emotional for 3 days straight.

- I saw my former boyfriend's ex girlfriend modeling in the latest edition of Vibe. She was also on Star Search Model competition.

- I've been apllying to Ivy League Schools... sort of. Lazinesss get's in the way sometimes.

- I just discovered who Fannie Lou Hamer.

- I saw this woman with the strangest facial dimensions I've ever seen in my life. She had THE BIGGEST HEAD and the tiniest mouth. You'd have to see if to be a believer.

- I've had a job transfer. I had a departmental change and I'm no longer working on 14th Street. Now I'm in Spanish Harlem.

This is enough for now. There's more, but I can't remember. You do know that it's BLACK HISTORY MONTH don't you? Does this even mean anything to you? Do you think it's propaganda? Do you think it holds purpose or do you think it's academic?

Stony the road we trod, Bitter the Chastening rod
Felt in the days when hope unborn had died
Yet with a steady beat, Have not our weary feet
Come to the place for which our father's sighed?
We have come over a way that with tears has been watered
We have come treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered
Out from a gloomy past, Till now we stand at last
Where the white gleam of our bright star is cast

Ya dig?

I'm going through serious changes. I'm about to get brand new... like you've never seen before. Scram.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

I just saw Missy's new video. I'm not a huge fan and I've never bought any of her albums, but I have popped and locked to her beats more than a zillion times. I have a great appreciation for her house sample in this latest joint. I started perculating and everything! Yes, people still perculate... well I do. Who's laughing?! Go straight to hell with gasoline draws! While I'm still talking about videos I might as well add that I like Chingy's latest cut with Kiesha. She's a little fox *owwwe*, don't hurt 'em mama! I like shorty doo wop who sings the hook. He sings the cheese out of that hook doesn't he? If you wanna go home with me, I'm only one call away Chillin' on the linked up fence with his trench and ear piece. Ain't that the same boy from the Jackson 5 movie and Drumline? I love that boy! He has good comedic timing. Dont' try to confuse him the with mook mook lookin' dude from Sister act and City High either... I'll fight you if you do.

I'm going through several different issues right now, people. Forgive the lack of posts and all that. Don't stop lovin' me baby. Yes, I'm talking to you. You sure know how to kill a moment, don't you? I've been eating a lot of avocados lately. They are delicious. Surprisingly, they seem to make some people nauseous. That's preposterous to me! How can something that taste like sex to me (it's a term I use... let's stay focused) make someone else vomit? Something is wrong here. Something's off. Someone is lying. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this because there is no good reason anyone could possibly have to tell lies about a fruit that taste like sex.

Have you ever told someone something and then a week or a month later they tell it back to you like they are the original source? Then when you say, "Negro I told your man tan azz that info ten days ago!", they have the audacity to argue you down. Or have you ever told someone a crazy bizarre story and like a month later this person tells it back to you (with some extra personal twists to make it more their own)like it happened to them and you look at them like they lost their cotton picking mind (that is such a derogatory term... might as well have just said "field negro" because I already exercised "man tan') ? Identities and subject matter have been withheld to protect this cat, but I might as well just tell you that I'm talking about my brother.

If you peek through my window at 9 pm tonight you might catch me in a duplicitous act of watching BET after I swore up and down that I would not be caught patronizing them ever never again until they raised their programming standards. I'm a liar. I'll be watching College Hill tonight *sambo smile*. I only continued watching BET for as long as I did to see videos. I discovered I had access to MTV 3 (JAMS) and VH1 3 (SOUL) 24\7. It was a wrizzap kids and I was getting over like a fat cat. My BET relaspe will occur tonight promptly at 9pm. Save the frowns and the scowls for the next homey because there is no better reality then black reality... and a HBCU at that... I'm hoping it makes for good\bad television.

A serious post will be coming soon. Black history month is around the corner and I have some things to say. I realized the niggardly behavior that I have when it comes to how much I tend to invest mentally, spiritually and financially within my community. Makes me want to hurl large chunks. On a lighter note... I'd like to say Happy Birthday to this pretty little lady, Nexy ! She is just the sweetest thing... like many of you. Happy birthday to all the January babies! Group hug! Hey, who squeezed my butt?

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Golly, you people sure get fiesty about this whole comment box thing. If we lived in Biblical times I would have been seriously lumped up from multiple stone wounds. It's really not that serious. You all know as well as I do that sometimes you just want to read and skim through posts. Sometimes it's just a flat out hassle to leave a comment. Sometimes I just want to read and laugh and the thought of actually taking my hand off the mouse to leave a comment seems way too labor intense. So I don't. I think you all should do the same. Hey, I don't mind. Think of it like calling someone's phone and when you get the machine you just hang up instead of leaving a message. They'll never know. Unless they *69... or check their missed calls... or have caller I.D. I don't track who comes by here or anything so I'm clueless. Don't worry about me. In all actuality I'm really doing you all a favor by having a muffed up comment box. Less work for you. It's a win win situation. *leaning back with hands behind head*

After visiting Ms.Things's page, I was thinking about where certain sayings come from. Some of them just don't make a lick of sense and it's obvious that we're all just saying them out of habit and not really because it means anything to us. For example:

- Don't let the cat out of the bag!

Whot en dee hayle is that suppose to mean? It doesn't even make any damn sense. First and foremost, why is a cat in the bag? Secondly, if it's in the bag then it should be let out because cats wil tinkle just about every and any where and if you are familiar with the stench of cat piss, it's better that we let that rascal out sooner than later.

- I have this down to a T.

Can it get anymore random than that? I thought not.

I honestly didn't even think this post through... so I don't have anymore examples that I can think of. My bad. I'm sure you get my drift though. Guess who I saw yesterday? This is the second time I saw this lady. She is\was the stylist for Sex and the City. Not patricia Field, the other one. I saw her on 5th Avenue..and chile her get up was bad! She had on a midnight blue (yes, also known as navy) Shearling, Dark denim jeans with the cuffs flipped up and on the inside of the cuffs were orange stripes, a red Kangol, some dark Fendi shades, and ivory, navy and red coyboy boots. She also had a dog carrier that was navy with red and orange stripes. She has jet black hair cut short and she had on some red lipstick. The look was killer. She was killing 'em... well me. I don't know if anyone else was as interested as I.

And just like that I'm gone.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Yo, it's brick outside. I was never one for wearing ski masks, but I think I may need to invest. The wind cuts like I don't know what. I don't know too much about meteorology and seasons, but I can't tell you how disappointed I was by the following conversation I had with someone last week: Me, "My buttocks is frozen. I can't wait for winter to be over. Thank goodness it's almost over." Him, "What do you mean...it's just begun." Me, "Huh?" Him, "Winter has only just begun. It'll be like this for awhile." Me, "You're kidding. "*sad look*. I guess you can say I'm in a bit of denial. I thought Winter would be over at the end of February then the sun would start to shine bright again. *popping dream bubble*.

I went to Illadelphia this weekend. In all actuality I only went for a night, but I still had a good time. Philly gets love from me. I adore that city. I also love D.C. and ATL (just thought I'd throw that out there). Back to my weekend.... I chilled with a former boyfriend. Most women I know keep in contact with at least one of their past shorties. I maintain communication with three of my four former menz. First and foremost, I just really like all them as individuals. They have upstanding characters and are decent human beings that I really care about. They make me laugh beyond measure. Plus I know they still think I'm cute and I think they're still cute too, so it's fun to get a guaranteed flirting session with no pretense. They have all come a long way for real. I guess a lot of it had to do with youth and growing pangs. I could have seen myself with each and every one of them if the timing had been better. I'm cool with it though. I work with the cards I'm dealt and that's that.

This particular old beau is by far the most attractive guy I've dated. The boy is so handsome. It's been a while since I've last seen him and he looks even better than he did before. He has deep chocolate skin...like the sun dipped in black, as Lauryn would say. It really looks like Hershey's chocolate and his skin tone is so even and beautiful. He has jet black soft hair (hair like a My Child...remember those?) and he grows it out a little on the top of his head so that thick soft curls form (I think he's half Dominican or something). He's about 6"2 and has such a sexy swagger and an innate fashion sense. It was really good to see him. I'm talking good. He's like the best eye candy. We had such a nice time together, but that's all it was...all it really can be. We'll get into why in a sec.

I'm not going to front. I liked having a play boyfriend for a day and a half. I liked being around someone that knows me. It was as if we were in the good stage of a relationship. You know, the stage where the two of you know each other well, but not so well that you're lazy and bored and unexcited to be around one another anymore. That's what turns me off about the whole "dating" thing. Learning someone all over again and opening yourself up. For a gal like me, it takes real effort. My personal life is closed tighter than the mouth of a snapping turtle...it's hard for me to open up period. Anyway, anyway, anyway, my whole thing is it was comforting for me to be around someone that is attracted to me, that knows me, and that appreciates me. Unfortunately, we're not going to be together like that. I'm not really a fan of backpedalling. I'm not a fan of long distance shorties. More than all that, I'm one of those "needs to be fawned over" type chicas...simply put, he's not all that good at that. I'm not afraid to admit that I need to be romanced and thangs periodically in order to keep my interest. I broke it off with him in college because I felt like he couldn't invest the amount of effort that I'm due. Listen ladies, we should not be afraid to say that we're worth something...worth the effort...worth winning over. Nothings wrong with that. From his language and how he was behaving this weekend , I think that he may think he's going to end up with me because that's what he wants. I'm more understanding and lenient about a lot of the things he does at this point because he's my "friend" not my "man". I think he misinterprets that as my new found tolerance and he probably thinks I'd transfer that attitude into a relationship with him. Little does he know as a "friend" I tolerate a whole lot of things, but if I was dealing with him like that, the game would change...straight up. My inner monster would resurface. It may not sound fair, but that's how things work. That's how I work. Keep in mind this is a very single woman who is typing all this...form your own conclusions people. Like I said before it was nice having a play boyfriend for the weekend.

We went to the Cheesecake Factory one day and he took me to Ishkabibblies to get a chicken cheesesteak the next day. We talked relationships, families, politics, friends, street life, careers, other little dumb things, and of course we got our flirt on heavy. I thought I was looking especially adorable when we met up. I had on some tight jeans (y'all know I got make it poke out a little), a tan zip up jacket with an exaggerated collar, a tan camisole underneath, some tan boxing style Converse sneakers with gold accent and a gold star on the side, a dirty metallic gold belt, and a fitted three quarter goose in green with a fur collar that had hints of brown, tan, and gold in the fur and a tan suede news boy hat with gold hooped earrings. He had on a black velour puma sweat suit, with some matching puma sneaks, and a black mink. Okay Negroes....I know Iknow we may have seemed a bit ostentatious, but we like to do it like we're doing it for t.v. Sue us. All day everyday. Alright, I know I'm feeling myself right now. Let me live, will ya?

Thursday, January 15, 2004

What up. In my usual kvetching manner I have tons of things to gripe about and the first that comes to mind is personality and appearance. The two go hand in hand don't they? I have a real issue with atracttively challenged people having a bad attitude. Not saying that needless attitude is acceptable in any circumstance, but I find it shockingly ballzy for a facially handicapped person to be habitually rude. I'm so serious right now, y'all don't even know. My word is bond, if I come across people in this category, there will be problems. Let me be very clear when I say, I'm not hung up on looks, but I am very hung up on attitudes. To me your attitude directly affects your appearance and I truly believe that when you are ugly on the inside your physical ugliness becomes magnified. Frankly, it doesn't even make too much sense and I can't ration it for the life of me. My logic is, if you have a bad attitude you sure as hell better be physically flawless and if you aren't physically flawless, you better be extra nice. That criteria seems pretty cut chase to me...no ambiguity there.

Could it be that ugly people are ugly because of their ugly heart? Was it like a cause and effect type of thing? I don't bother focusing on the physical flaws of extremely nice people. The niceness stays in the forefront of my mind and the unattractiveness vears towards the back. There are cases where people have serious physical defects that they are born with. Like dude in Mask, that's just completely beyond control. That kid was so nice too, man. I would have befriended and marrried him *crickets*. Back to what I was saying though, I'm taking about unsightliness within the scope of control. Like greasy necked chapped lipped ugliness and on top of that having a "suckballz" attitude. Not cool. These people must be humbled. Humbled through traducement, so they can see that they are totally out of line. It's enough to be rude and somewhat attractive, but being flat out ugly and having the nerve to be snide? It's a wrap.

If you are familiar with me then you know I must be building up to something. Indeed I am dear people. Indeed I am. Within the month of January I have been in several situations where mud ducks have tried to come at me in very inappropriate ways. Real rude and stuff. Can't have that. It happened three times this month so far. It's been real odd and random type of situations. It's happened here and there over the course of my entire earthly existance, but three times within a month... c'mon! Suddenly I thought, maybe it's some sort of calling. Maybe I've been called to set every mud duck straight. Intervention if you will.
My last encounter was earlier this week. I was standing on the very edge of the curb and saw a large group of toddlers. There was a group of 20 little 2 year old droolers being guided up the street by nusery school aides. Most of the kids were in those push carts that yu may see in malls. You know the push carts that are in the shape of animals and they hold about 6 or so litle people. Even though I am very allergic to children, I was suprisingly enraptured with the whole scene. All those little people, looking like midgets in the same colored coats, blabbering and babble talking. Begrudgingly, I must say it was...adorable. It was so sickeningly heart warming. I began to feel something funny inside my chest, almost like the Grinch. You know the scene when the Grinch's heart begins to grow and pump? I think something like that bagan to happen to me *confused look*. So, I still had my head turned looking in their direction and I may have even had a very faint smile on my face. I took one step down from the curb and suddenly an Asian delivery man speeds by on his two speed and splashes slush on my feet and pants. I then realized that he is the same grocer from a store that I stopped going to. My boycott was partially due to his continually nasty attitude and also the absurd prices. Filled with anger, I scream, "Watch where you're going you jerk off!". He turns his head around and says, " You too stupid! Get on the curb! You in the way, stupid!" Now I know what you all may be thinking. I started it by calling him a jerk off, but he could have avoided the slush and he could have apologized after he saw that he splashed me. Apparently he did it on purpose and I guess he felt I should have been on the curb to begin with (mind you, I had the right of way). I couldn't just let it end there... that just wouldn't be me. I quickly remembered one of his physical flaws and layed right in," That's why you have teeth like a hippopotamus you jerk off! Go to a dentist you stupid azz! There's a first time for everything!". He said nothing and continued pedaling up the street. I would have ripped him a new one if he stayed around long enough. I truly had enough of him. How are you going to have teeth that are still on the outside even when your mouth is closed and have the never to have madd attitude too? Him and his snaggle toothed azz.

I don't care if none of y'all agree with me, but I'm here to say that we do not have to put up with bullshit attiutudes from ugly people (which is pretty much all inclusive because I can find physical flaws in damn near anybody if they drive me to it). I know for a fact if I came out of pocket (when did I become fluent in pimp?) it wouldn't take long to tear me to shreads because let's face it, as much as you all would like to believe that I am perfect *giggling* I have more flaws than a $50 diamond ring. That's why I try to be on my best behavior when dealing with others. Why some of these people think they are the exception, I'll never know. Raise up against the uglies! *Bravehaert run*

Big love to Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on his born day. We had a birthday dinner for my Dear Ma who also had a birthday this week (big love to my G-ma too) and she told me that she heard Dr. King speak several times. She shook his hand and er'thing. That was real to me. My mother told me that my grandfather took all of them down to the March on Washington and heard him speak. She expressed how moving it was and the impression he left. She said what she what really stands out in her memory is how friendly everyone was. She said it didn't matter that they were among people of different colors, everyone was like family. She remembered sitting on the grass and eating a boxed lunch that they provided for all of those people. Even though she was a young girl at the time she realized how awsome and profound the event was. Too real. Dr.King helped push (Black) America through leaps and bounds. I am still apart of the movement and I am so thankful that I'm able to live his dream. Much love and respect to the movement and Dr.King.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Post coming, bear with the kid.

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